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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25992352">Why Do I Feel?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/xclipsa/pseuds/xclipsa'>xclipsa</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>No Fandom, Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Magic, Dark Magic, Demon/Human Relationships, Demons, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Gen, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, LGBTQ Character, Long-Term Relationship(s), M/M, Minor Violence, Multi, Mythology - Freeform, NSFW, Original Universe, Other, Science Fiction &amp; Fantasy, inspired by tarot cards, mature - Freeform, mild NSFW, minor gore, the hermit - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 02:33:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,024</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25992352</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/xclipsa/pseuds/xclipsa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This story tells the tale of you, our lost wanderer in search of what they believe should be their home and along your journey you manage to patch things up with an ancient being. This is the extended end for my short interactive game I posted on Quotev which you can find in the notes below!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Archdemon/OC, Original Character(s)/Original Character(s), Reader/Other(s), Xil'rakith (OC), reader/oc</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Why Do I Feel?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>If you would like to play the short game, please do! Here's the link: https://www.quotev.com/quiz/13000659/Why-Do-I-Feel</p><p>Stay safe, stay healthy ;)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Say it.</em>
</p><p>“Say what?”</p><p>
  <em>Must I coax it out of you, mortal?</em>
</p><p>“Could you?”</p><p>
  <em>I very much could.</em>
</p><p>“I’m crying, you fool. I look like a mess.”</p><p>
  <em>You’ve never looked more ethereal.</em>
</p><p>Xil’rakith hums in delight as they caress your cheeks, pulling you closer which you would think was impossible given how warm both your bodies have been after hours of sleeping at such close proximity; limbs entangled and all.</p><p>They kiss away the last of your tears and you smile at them.</p><p>“I was hoping we could have gone to the garden.”</p><p>
  <em>In this weather?</em>
</p><p>“Especially in this weather.”</p><p>
  <em>Should I be jealous of a God?</em>
</p><p>“Zeus is a literal manwhore, there’s nothing for you to be jealous about.”</p><p>A loud boom erupts from the dark clouds and you can feel it thundering in your heart. Xil’rakith smirks slyly, twirling the corners of your baby hair around their fingers.</p><p>
  <em>Darling, the pansies and hyacinths are still out there.</em>
</p><p>“Not the purple hyacinths!”</p><p>
  <em>As much as I adore the mocking of a God, I worked hard to plant my belladonnas.</em>
</p><p>“Then, shall we go check them out? To see if the weather has ripped away it’s beauty?”</p><p>Xil’rakith’s eyes gleam with mischief.</p><p>
  <em>Eager, are we?</em>
</p><p>You can’t help but to smile back. Xil’rakith snaps his fingers and the warmth from the library is instantly gone. You close your eyes shut when the wind whips your hair and you shiver a little. You’re now standing in the middle of the gazebo, wondering how bad of an idea this was. It’s mayhem out here.</p><p>
  <em>The rain feels nice, join me.</em>
</p><p>You roll your eyes when you find Xil’rakith playing around. What a prepossessing sight is right before you and you just can’t help to look away. Their movements are swift and poise, extending their arms out and curling their fingers as they gently suspend the rain droplets around them forming different sizes of water globs. They pop one over your head, soaking you entirely.</p><p>“You’ll regret that, you know?”</p><p>
  <em>I am aware. So, come and get me.</em>
</p><p>You grab a bucket that sits by the stairs of the gazebo and with no hesitation, you splash Xil’rakith, soaking them in return.</p><p>
  <em>I will allow that one to slide. Not for long though, mortal.</em>
</p><p>What felt like hours of joy have passed before you notice the wisps emerging from afar and quite frankly, at this rate you just might catch a cold.</p><p>
  <em>The wisps are right, perhaps we have played too long out in the rain. They wish to get rid of us. Nasty pests.</em>
</p><p>“Hey, they’re cute. Besides, I’m ready for a warm bath. I say that because I’m muddy. Oh and cold too, surprisingly, if you haven’t noticed.”</p><p>Xil’rakith hums, patting down your unruly hair and moving downwards to caress your cold cheeks.</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>They grab your chin lightly, forcing you to look up and you follow easily, smiling when you see how bright their amber eyes sparkle and gleam.</p><p>
  <em>Hm, the things you do to me mortal…</em>
</p><p>Your cheeks redden and your breath hitches when Xil’rakith leans down closer to you, smiling slyly. Their voice is smooth as silk when they whisper into your ear, gently nipping as they go, their warm breath making you shudder.</p><p>
  <em>You are a gem amongst the rest of the mortals that roam these lands. How they pale in comparison to you...How lucky am I, wouldn’t you say so?</em>
</p><p>Xil’rakith’s hand comes up to encircle your throat and you bare it to them, tilting and giving access all while knowing how well they could easily grant your death in mere seconds. You feel your knees unbuckle when Xil’rakith finally places a kiss on your lips, moving as gracefully as ever. There’s a subtle tingle of their magick you feel coursing into you and you hide the attempt of making a noise quite unsuccessfully.</p><p>Xil’rakith wraps their arm around your waist pulling you closer, deepening the kiss, one strong enough to ward off the chill and you steady yourself against their warm chest, curling your fingers into their clothing before breaking apart for air.</p><p>The wisps grow brighter from the distance as if telling you to quit while you’re ahead and Xil’rakith huffs unperturbed, their grip around you still strong.</p><p>
  <em>You are red.</em>
</p><p>“Red? Well, whose fault is that?”</p><p>Xil’rakith’s glazed eyes gazes at you with so much adoration, it’s hard for you not to turn to an even deeper shade of red. They trace their thumb lightly across your cheeks, before finally stopping, tugging at your bottom lip where they capture your lips once more and this time, much, much slower.</p><p>
  <em>My fault I suppose, for bringing some colour to you. Your cheeks are stained red, and so are your lips. Your neck however could stand to have some crimson in them. I take immense pleasure in seeing them change to purple in the coming days. Don’t you agree?</em>
</p><p>You whine in response, urging a chuckle from them as they murmur against your lips.</p><p>
  <em>You are unbelievable. </em>
</p><p>Before you have the chance to reply, the wisps nearby glow brighter at an alarming rate, so much so that you would not be able to tell that it was well past midnight into the darkness. You place a small peck on Xil’rakith’s jaw and wave at the wisps.</p><p>“We’re going, we’re going!”</p><p>Xil’rakith sighs and snaps his fingers transporting the both of you to the master bedroom. You catch a whiff of incense coming from the bathroom and as the fireplace crackles loudly, the chill from your body has almost disappeared.</p><p>
  <em>I do hope the water is at your preferred temperature and if not, I have a few ideas that might help warm you up.</em>
</p><p>They wink, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead before urging you into the large bathroom. There are multiple candles lit and the steam from the water rises gently into the air, coaxing you to take a dip. So, you do.</p><p>And boy, does it feel good.</p><p>
  <em>Having fun?</em>
</p><p>You close your eyes at the sound of their voice and let out an appreciative hum.</p><p>“My turn, why don’t you join me? The water is nice.”</p><p>You mimic their words from earlier and they laugh in response, eyeing you with a contemplative look. They’re teasing, you think and you know them well enough that a little push is all they need before breaking.</p><p>“It’s getting pretty lonely here, perhaps, instead of watching you could give me a hand? Preferably before the water turns cold? Unless, you object?”</p><p>You slur your words, looking up at them as you flash the best puppy eyes you could muster. As you slowly rise above the water, exposing your chest to the frigid air, you shiver slightly before extending your arms towards Xil’rakith, pouting even, to a certain extent to seal the deal.</p><p>“If my memory serves me right, I recall you mentioning a certain paint job in an area that is willing, nay begging to be painted, free of charge.”</p><p>They smile, flashing their fangs, the very same ones that often left the many marks on your body for you to admire the next day. How rare it was for them to mark you so in the beginning, for they feared hurting you in the slightest. The fear of breaking your soft skin, drawing blood even, was a sin they wish not to commit.</p><p>Hurting you was a heinous crime best left untouched, they thought. And in all of their sins they’ve committed in their arduous lifetime, this was one they swore to stray from.</p><p>What pleasure would bring from it to see you in pain? A pain so unbearable you never asked nor wish to have it bestowed upon you in the first place? A forgiving demon is rare and to pardon one is unheard of. And yet, still, you stand fearless before the ancient being who has slaughtered many. You have forgiven them for their actions, you do not care, you bare your neck for them as you please and in return they offer you their kindness, their company, and much to your surprise, their love.</p><p>Who knew?</p><p>The hand that has ripped away the lives of many is reminded of the sickly sweet blood of their foes that stained their hands crimson. The very same hand that has given you life through their soft touches, providing you warmth and strength when you have none.</p><p>Xil’rakith takes hold of one of your hands and places a soft and lingering kiss on the back of it, before intertwining them together. Their eyes twinkle in amusement and you feel the urge to drown in them, completely and utterly losing yourself, just as you always do when you are with them.</p><p>As they sink down into the bath with you, Xil’rakith tilts their head and leans in, giving you a tender kiss, one filled with longing and desire. You feel their tongue swipe across your bottom lip, your face heating up and you’re partially certain it is not from the steam.</p><p>
  <em>Is this what you wanted?</em>
</p><p>You smile into the kiss and they pull back just to take a look at you, their expression soft with affection before breaking into a small laugh that fills your chest with warmth and happiness.</p><p>You’re in deep but you don’t regret it one bit. Leaving is never going to be an option ever again.</p><p>“All I ever want is you, is that so hard to believe?”</p><p>Xil’rakith draws you in, perching you up on their lap and you don’t mind that the water sloshes out from the tub for their breath ghosting over your ear makes you focus on much more important things.</p><p>They meld their lips to yours, and you respond with a pleased sigh, looping an arm around their neck and gripping their broad shoulder with the other. The kiss is gentle as they slowly yet softly run their tongue over your lower lip, seeking permission for much needed <em>exploration.</em> You let out a soft moan once they place their hands on your waist, gripping with a slight pressure only to pull you closer.</p><p>
  <em>I’ve come to believe many things when I am with you. You opened my eyes to see things that I have no sight for, you make me feel things that I have once locked away and perhaps now, I have acquired the taste of what truly living must feel like. </em>
</p><p>You pull back to look into their eyes and smile, lightly scratching down their chest, humming as you do so and their grip on your waist tightens.</p><p>“The water, it is starting to get cold. A little help?”</p><p>They snap their fingers and the water slowly builds heat. You hum when it tingles your skin and Xil’rakith threads their fingers in your hair. You lean closer to their touch, craving for more and they let you lie against their chest. You take the opportunity to slowly trace the lines and curves of their battle scars from which they earned in war, marking their body as a sign of pride, glory, and honor. You imagine the sight of them in battle, smeared in crimson blood, some caked but most fresh, as they grin and snarl all the while.</p><p>They slightly stir when you place feather-light kisses on their scars all around where your lips may reach, whispering sweet nothings as you make your way upward to their neck, their collarbone, their jaw and finally to their lips. You made sure to lavish each section with as much as love as the other before moving to the next and Xil’rakith eyes you over.</p><p>They’re sorry. A darkness clouds their eyes and you can feel the sorrow and emptiness they mirror towards you when your eyes meet.</p><p>
  <em>What did I ever do to deserve you? I do not deserve you.</em>
</p><p>“I will have none of that. Of course you deserve someone to love you. You deserve that, as everyone does, and you deserve so much more. More than I can give and I <em>will</em> give you plenty.”</p><p>They rub circles into your hips, bending down to lean into your neck to place a soft lingering kiss. They whisper huskily, their breath warm against your shoulder and you swallow.</p><p>
  <em>Then I plan to make you mine. Again.</em>
</p><p>As soon as you grip their shoulders, Xil’rakith nips at your shoulder blades before properly placing a bite before licking away to soothe the pain. They move on to your collarbones to do the same, except rougher this time. Your skin turns red and Xil’rakith shows no attempt to stop. They attack your neck with no mercy and you can’t help but moan in protest yet eager for them to continue.</p><p>With a growl, they ruthlessly feast on your neck and once again down to your collarbones, shoulders and chest and more, making sure they hit each sensitive spot that deserves getting attention. They hum, slowly easing the pain after each bite with a soft blow of cool air, making you shiver and shake, writhing before them.</p><p>Soon enough, your insides build up an antagonizing heat, one you can no longer control as you make small efforts to move yourself against them, pleading for more.</p><p>“Please...I can’t hold it any longer…”</p><p>Your grip tightens and you dig your nails into their shoulders and Xil’rakith grabs your chin, tilting you to look up as their mouth moves hotly against yours urging you to moan and whine.</p><p>
  <em>It’s alright. I feel generous tonight. You have been good, haven’t you? I’ll give you your reward soon enough.</em>
</p><p>They chuckle darkly against your lips, pulling you against their hips hard, never losing their iron grip. Your hands dig into their hair as they enter you slowly, filling you up entirely as you open yourself to them, offering them everything. Xil’rakith takes you greedily, your bodies pressed together and your toes curl when they speed up.</p><p>They move their hips against yours, set to a rhythm, making you whimper and moan as your entire body reacts. Then their pace becomes hard, almost punishing. Torturous, yet addictive. You’re making a mess of the bathroom, the water spilling over the sides of the bathtub, flooding the room. You don’t care and neither does Xil’rakith.</p><p>Your body arches and you gasp when they hardly give you any time to breathe as they keep their merciless pace and you’re certain your hips will be bruised just as bad as the rest of your body.</p><p>
  <em>You are doing wonderful, my love. After all, all good things come to those who wait and you my dear, have been so patient…</em>
</p><p>The ache between your legs spreads like wildfire, your insides being consumed, an entire experience leaving you breathless, gasping for air yet you are only feeding the flames.</p><p>“I can’t...any longer...mercy please…”</p><p>They chuckle darkly when your nails dig into their shoulders and their voice is all it takes to send you over the edge. You let the pleasure tighten and compress within you, then cry out loudly as it releases. Xil’rakith buries their head into your neck, placing soft kisses there and whispering words of encouragement as you scratch their back, taking much delight when they slightly hiss in pain.</p><p>
  <em>Messy. </em>
</p><p>You relax from your high and Xil’rakith rubs your back in circles, calming you down, allowing you to catch a break before placing one last lingering kiss to your lips.</p><p>“You can clean this up, right?”</p><p>Your voice comes out small and hoarse as you take in your surroundings. Xil’rakith smiles warmly at you before snapping their fingers for a glass of water to reappear in their hands.</p><p>
  <em>First, drink. </em>
</p><p>They bring the cup to your lips and you take a big swallow, savouring each and every last drop before sighing in content. Your face is flushed and you peck the ancient being on their cheeks, as a sign of thanks. They roll their eyes good-naturedly and rise slowly, arms looping around you to bring you to your feet. You wince a little at the slight pain.</p><p>“I don’t know about you but I’m ready to be cleaned and be in a warm bed now.”</p><p>A few moments pass and you find yourself in a warm bed with more blankets and pillows you could ever imagine fit onto a mattress so wide. The both of you are curled up underneath the covers and Xil’rakith rubs soothing circles on your back and you hum, tracing patterns on their chest.</p><p>
  <em>I do hope your first day back home was splendid. Did you enjoy yourself today?</em>
</p><p>Their voice is low and groggy, sending vibrations to your body and you nod, trying to hide a chuckle.</p><p>“I did, thank you. Thank you for...everything.”</p><p>Xil’rakith pulls the covers closer to you and places a soft kiss on your forehead. You feel light and happy.</p><p>
  <strong> You feel happy.</strong>
</p><p>That took a while, but you’re content, safe and happy with who you are, where you are and who you want to be with.</p><p>
  <em>You are very welcome. Anything for you, anything at all. Sleep well, my love.</em>
</p><p>“Hey, X?”</p><p>
  <em>Something troubling you?</em>
</p><p>“I think...I’m still in love with you. I mean, I know I always did...I just do now even more? From the time I left? Just that, if you think I stopped when I left, I didn’t. I still do love you. Very much.”</p><p>
  <em>Ah, so you finally said what I had been hoping to hear from the beginning. I know.</em>
</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>
  <em>And I would give you all that I am, all that I was and all I ever will be. I shall open our hearts to sew and mend; to bind what needs to be together chamber by chamber. Souls intertwined; a bond lasting forever. So, yes. I love you too.</em>
</p><p>You feel yourself drift away with every soft touch from Xil’rakith and as you fall into a deep slumber, you can only hope the days will get better from now on. You have them and that’s all you really need.</p>
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